Karaoke

Things to consider when selecting a karaoke song:

1. How long do I actually want to be on stage?
2. How much will this make my friends laugh?
3. Do I know the words well enough that I will be able to dance or embellish? Conversely, do I know so little of this song that it will be funny for my friends?
4. Do i not care what my friends think? Do I want to indulge some long held fantasy that I can be Patsy Cline or Whitney Houston or Robert Plant or Bob Dylan?
5. Will I ever get on stage? I've already had 4 drinks.

I've often wondered what the WORST karaoke songs to sing are. I nominate slow ballads that not many people know. These are the least interactive songs to select. Things like "Desperado" don't count because everyone knows the words.

Karaoke is a community activity. You go out with your friends and sing for a big group of people who are usually out in packs of friends. They are all just like you and they are not there to pay $6 for a gin and tonic to watch you fuck up some long slow ballad that they don't know the words to. On the other hand, they are there to watch you fuck up songs that they know and love.

Which brings me to the karaoke cliches/standbys. We all know and love them a lot and if you've been to karaoke, you've also seen lots of people try to sing them. Pretty much everytime that I go out for karaoke I hear at least one of these five songs:

1. Don't Stop Believing by Journey (undoubtedly the most popular in my opinion. I hear it without fail)
2. Sweet Child O' Mine by Guns and Roses
3. Me and Bobby McGee by Janice Joplin
4. Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler
5. Living On a Prayer by Bon Jovi

Not a bad way to spend a saturday night and $30 . . .