Monday, February 26, 2007

Sartorial Joy / Object Appreciation

"No ideas but in things" -- William Carlos Williams

There are those sartorial moments, when something clicks.

In viewing the object, I can see how someone has strived to make a very small moment of my life more involved, more elaborated upon.

It is the perfect mustard yellow handbag, the thrift store scarf that warms your body, and completes your reflection.

One could argue that there is more poetry in a bucket than a high heeled shoe, but that need not diminish the joy one receives from a proper item of clothing--something that fits so well, that enhances one's presence without overwhelming the viewer.

This is the poetry of design.

The message conveyed may be about status, but an item whose poetry rings truer will convey a message of utility, beauty and possibility. The craftsman understands this.

And of course this appreciation expands outside of sartorial items, a warm ceramic mug that fits into the palm, a new camera arriving in the mail packaged in green paper and tied up with string, or a new song that one hears offering displacement and pleasure (the idea as an object).

We appreciate these items, and they enhance our lives. Unfortunately, the object can only provide so much. Objects cannot love us back.

Although sometimes, we love an object so much that the love we pour into it bounces back onto us. The pursuit of interests is never to be discontinued. Objects are indelibly tied to our efforts, our emotions, and our lives.

Objects are carriers.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

My horoscope today

Optimism and buoyancy
This influence assures a day of good feelings, peace and harmony with others. But you should try to use its energy to accomplish something good and useful for yourself. The temptation is to enjoy the good feelings and let the day slip by without paying any special attention. The enthusiasm, optimism and buoyancy associated with this influence will enable you to project energies into the environment that will help your affairs work out as you want. This may appear to be luck, but it is not really. Consciously or unconsciously, in your daily routine you operate with great understanding of the overall patterns, and you act with more foresight and consideration than usual. If you do benefit from "dumb luck," it is a consequence of something you have done in the recent past.

The interpretation above is for your transit selected for today:Sun Trine Jupiter

activity period from 19 February 2007 to 21 February 2007.

Monday, February 12, 2007

We hadn't spoken in weeks. I ran into Jon at a coffee shop concert; he looked disheveled, untucked mismatched shirt and unshaven stubble. I thought maybe he'd been distraught. We chatted awkwardly. He invited me to his friends house in rural Oregon for the weekend--people were coming out for something of a two day party in the woods.

Secretly, I was thrilled. He'd kiss me in the woods. I was hopeful from the moment that I received the invite.

Lisa, an aquaintance, drove me and her boyfriend in her black suv through the oregon woods to the lakeside house. We arrived early, before Jon. There was a giant trampoline set out in the front yard. We all took turns jumping. Lisa's boyfriend, well sauced, got on the trampoline, jumped around for awhile and fell on his arm, spraining it. Lisa left and took him to the hospital.

I knew the host, Blane, only vaguely. Blane was a wiry looking kid with messy hair and a lazy eye. He was constantly unshaven. Lisa was gone, and it was awkward out in the forest with Blane's friends, a bunch of mal-adjusted townies. Dusk settled, and Jon arrived with some of my classmates. The car rumbled close to the house, and I felt eager to start enjoying myself. They filtered in and Jon walked in, dressed tightly in black, with a giggling happy girl looming near him. I knew immediately. Why did he invite me out to the forest to be presented with this new and unhappy fact? My heart sunk--I couldn't leave.

Lisa returned with her boyfriend, his arm in a sling. The group sat around on the porch drinking Pabst and laughing for a few hours. My classmates teased Jon about his new girlfriend. "Jonny's got a girrrllfriend." Jon sat next to her, and I pretended to look happy. Blane told everyone to come out front.

Blane had constructed a huge pyre, largely composed out of his old paintings, along with pieces of broken furniture, and 2 x 4's. He doused the pyre in gasoline and lit it on fire. He rolled a wheelbarrel out in front of the growing fire. With a shovel, he launched large scoops of sawdust onto the pyre. The flames mushroom clouded into the sky.

What was I watching?

After the sawdust was gone, the crowd filtered back towards the house. I confronted Jon. He stood on the porch facing out from the house. His tall, thin frame illuminated. "Why did you invite me out here to see you and your new girlfriend?"

"I just thought it would be okay."

I don't remember the rest of our conversation. Time passed slowly that night.

I hid out in Blane's guest room, a room separated from the house, with windows on all four sides. I crawled up in Blane's sleeping bag, and cried. I wept in the little one room for quite awhile. Blane came in and tried to console me. He put his arms around me and leaned in for a kiss. I would learn later that Blaine had a history of "kissing crying girls."

I left the tiny room and rejoined the party. The lights inside the house were bright. Alcohol had settled in on the guests. 2 girls and a boy were standing with their arms around each other, taking turns kissing in the triangle.

Blane burst out of the house, throwing his blankets onto the ground. Yelling, screaming, he picked up a guitar and smashed it on the ground. A girl that he wanted was in his bed with someone else. We all just watched as he destroyd the guitar.

I walked along the perimeter of the estate along the wooden fence, and ran into Gunther, one of Jon's old friends. I pretended to be french. My act was shoddy, and he quickly got bored, but he was drunk enough to believe me for a moment.

I went out near the firepit, and listened to people talk. The scene was more innocuous. Jon and his girlfriend were gone. It was very late and I had to try to sleep.

I went into the house and found a place on the floor. There was a loft bedroom in the middle of the huge living room. My place on the floor was right underneath the loft. I knew that Jon and his girlfriend were sleeping there. I tried to sleep. Occasionally, I would hear little kissing and sucking noises come down from the loft. Dawn was lifting.

I got up again, and went to the firepit. Joe was still awake. We talked about books. He was a good conversation in contrast to the insanity of the evening.

The morning dawned, and the group went about making breakfast for the 15 or so people that were there. It took forever. I wanted to leave soo badly. No one could confirm for me when they were leaving.

The sun was high in the sky. Blane turned on music. I remember the Strokes "This Is It" and Elliott Smith drifting through the large living room and onto the deck. Jon used to tell me that he hated pop music like that. I resented the music in that moment.

Finally Lisa said she was leaving. We all got in the Black SUV and we started to head out the driveway. The car lurched--flat tire--unbelievable. We all got of the car. It took a while for Lisa to figure out how to unscrew the spare from the bottom of the car. While Lisa and her boyfriend were fiddlling with getting the wheel out from under the car, I stood and watched. I brushed my hand against the back of my head and felt a sting--a bee sting. I went back inside the house for a bandaid.

The car was ready to go. The drive seemed very long, and I remember walking slowly back into my house. I went upstairs and lay down on the bed without taking the covers off.
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